Drum roll please...i have OFFICIALLY made it home! haha. i was pretty scared packing up my stuff at the hospital and getting all the meds and stuff covered; but once i got settled in and right now i'm feeling a lot better. i need to just fight the nerves and take the next step forward, and that will be on ongoing process. it's so stupid the little things i didn't even think about that i've had to come up with ways to manage at home. like, i'm in actual clothes now (it was nice to kiss those hospital gowns that leave u flapping in the wind behind!) but that means it's a little harder getting around the bathroom, sorry if that's borderline TMI, but that towel rack is actually placed in quite a nice spot! haha. and then i can't sleep on my bed because it doesn't really make it easy to elevate my leg at the best angle, so i'm on the couch which is super low. i can't get enough momentum to rise from that low onto the crutches, so first i got a wheelie chair, then i was like, "duh, cait, just sit on the arm of the sofa and then get to the crutches...so it's a learning process. even for making some breakfast tomorrow i had bren push a wheelie chair in there so i can just roll around instead of having to stand the whole time i make stuff.

newayz, the bottom line is i'm not scared anymore and happy to be out of the hospital...except my apartment is a mess (i guess of all my little OCD habits keeping 'order' is not one of them...hehe) and so now that i can't clean up and people want to come over i'm like...uuhhhhh....plus my cat Baily has made the place even messier. he pulled stuff off tables, of course his litter box is anything but daisy fresh, but bren can help with that stuff. and i'm SUPER happy my dad is gonna come visit me next weekend and stay over; he's already said he can help with lots of stuff like that that would be kinda weird to make other people do. i don't exactly want to ask my friends to wash my underwear, no matter how awesome they are! heck, i barely even want to ask my dad to do that, but it's the lesser evil...hehe. but i'm more just excited to see him.

so now i'm camped out on the couch, pointed at the tv, cellphone right at hand, and since the couch is low i made a desk out of a chair, it's the perfect height. making it into the place was comical if one were to watch. the pavement outside my complex is all cracked and uneven, a curb, and then steps just to get in. i did good there, then it was the flights of stairs to get to my third story home. i made it up all the way until maybe six stairs to go without only one stumble, my bro caught me, but then stumbled again and decided to butt crawl up the rest of the way. still, it was a personal best number of stairs i've done up until this point, over a dozen in a row. but now i'm here and don't have to worry about those stupid things until my Monday doctor appointment. i was more worried i'd be so winded to even make it all the way up those stairs, but i did it; still panting at the end but i was home.

i'm so blessed with so many people ready to help, wanting to bring me food, and only a phone call away and my bro will be at my beck and call in the nights should i need him, but i'm all drugged up and off to bed soon so i think i'm solid. glad the transition is over, and it is nice to be off the trauma ward! the last little surprise of the nite was when my bro surprised me with the exact food i was craving; i told him to just heat me up some stuff in the micro but he comes over and is holding stuff, and i'm like, "what is that?" he brought me some KFC (anyone who knows me is probably checking their eyesight now, but yes it is KFC ur reading), of course of the grilled variety, but i've been craving those buttermilk biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy for days...and he caught me totally off guard. it was so sweet, and i was touched; it's the little things i guess. it's so weird the stuff i've been craving, because i don't even remember the last time i wanted mashed taters and biscuits...haha.

well, i'm going to be going to bed soon, and hopefully get some solid hours. my bud Tracey brought me these audio relaxation cd's and they have been helping a lot; it is actually kind of weird in that the first night i used them it was the first time i didn't need sleeping pills and also the first time i slept more than just five hours. so i'm sticking to them even if people think they are a 'heady' stuff! well, until later, hope all is well with you guys and i'm sure everyone's Friday nite is more exciting than this chick's; i feel like a geriatric tucked in and ready to sleep before even 11pm! hehe :)