today i had a nice visit from my friend, Tracey, and i must say the company was very welcomed! it's odd how before my accident i could go about my daily schedule and not really feel all that lonely or bored, but i had the distraction of running, working, or going on errands...take all that away and you get a restless mind! and i'm not going to even mention a restless body again. :) i've been slowly getting back to a limited amount of work, but you know how sometimes once you take so much time off getting back into the grind can be even more difficult?! i feel like my brain is turning just as mushy as my muscles, and i've contracted a bad case of laziness..."i don't feel like writing articles. i'd rather obsessively refresh my email account one more time. let's see the latest facebook updates." the excuses to not be productive are never ending, but at the same time growing more alluring too! i've sort of delegated myself to allowing this to be a semi break of indeterminate length and am doing my best to achieve a few daily tasks but not feel too guilty about slacking off.

before my accident it was very rare that i would take a day off, or a break for that matter, so i think this could also be a sign that i just needed to back off and slow down in that department as well. plus, i'm at the point where i want to venture into other things and this could be a good time to do that. i want to finish the novel i'm writing, and i've been plugging away at that daily; not very much but at least enough to feel like i'm moving in the right direction. i also want to focus more on my art and i've been doing that too. so i feel like i'm dabbling in finding what makes me happy work wise and hoping that in the end things will work themselves out. a lot of the future is a question; not only physically with the injury, but financially with the mountain of medical bills piling up and then that is in turn tied to work. so instead of letting all of the unknowns bury me i'm just going to continue to think about today and hope that it all will iron out. so while i am still battling the nagging guilt of slacking off in what now appears to be all aspects of my life, i'm trying to keep it in perspective, believe there is a rhyme and reason for all of this, and just grant myself the liberty to continue to lay low for now. that being said, if anyone is in need of any graphic designs (i know there have to be some people throwing parties and want invitations; someone looking to jazz up their business cards; a tee shirt is just too bare to bear; or you have a hankering to see what you'd look like as a toon!) feel free to hit me up! haha...just kidding. ;)