so from what i gather in watching the news our lovely city or Portland, and the other nearby areas, are getting blasted with some wicked weather. it's really odd feeling sort of disconnected from everything that actually goes on right outside my door, because i'm just not, well, going outside! it feels like i'm sort of at a distance; sure i hear the rain and wind but i'm not out there braving it. not that i'm all too keen on winds that could blow a person over or getting pelted with hail, but i'm not necessarily one to be a house recluse either! however it's a bit easier to stay indoors knowing that outside the weather is crappy...misery loves company right so if i have to suffer at least the rest of the urbanites have to also! i know that come summer and mr. sunshine cracks his face, albeit for a short time, i'll be itching to be out there.

well, my leg will be itching regardless...haha. yes i don't think i've ever been quite so aware of just how many tendons and ligaments comprise that lower extremity, but now that each and every one of them has decided to take on a life of their own and are awakening from their car induced hibernation i'm pretty sure if i had to draw a diagram of just where all these tendons were and how they ran in alignment i'd be dead on! as i do my rehab and wiggle my toes, bend my knee, stretch, and the like i can also feel a myriad of rollings, flexings, contractings, and all that other good stuff; but it really makes my stomach turn. i can actually see some of them too, there are odd bulges and twitches that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. my leg is still swollen so i'm not ever sure if there are bulges in odd places because of the swelling or because a tendon is misaligned or not put in the 'right place' and then i start to worry that something is wrong. yes, always the extremist; i fear that these tinglings, itchings, and inexplicable sensations are going to be with my the rest of my life. i look back on the days in which everything under the skin functioned like it should and i was happily, ignorantly unaware of all these flexings and such and it was bliss. now i have to intrinsically feel all that goes into moving your toes...and let me tell you it feels weird and unpleasant. i get all these mental pictures of one of those anatomical diagrams and it just doesn't sit well!

but, i am still just trying to think that these sensations, just like the tinglings, are signs that my leg is 'awakening' and healing and that it's a good thing. so i'll keep doing what i'm doing and tell myself that one day, in a far off galaxy and in the far future, my leg will return to being the 'quiet' and pleasant friend i used to know and love and go about its business leaving me none the wiser to its inner workings. :)